


Towards Understandings

by Jenn_Calaelen



Category: Serrano Legacy - Elizabeth Moon
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-23
Updated: 2012-12-23
Packaged: 2017-11-22 03:33:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/605372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jenn_Calaelen/pseuds/Jenn_Calaelen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brun thinks and tries to explain her feelings better to Brigdis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Towards Understandings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Carmarthen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carmarthen/gifts).



> I saw your letter and meta about this and found it a very interesting idea. I had a lot of fun writing this treat. I hope you like it. :)
> 
> Beta read by rabidsamfan. All remaining mistakes are all my fault.

Being back on the _Sweet Delight_ seemed almost dull to Brun after the excitement of Zenebra with the trials going on; amazing how nothing ever seemed to turn out how she expected. However, she did want another chance to talk to Brigdis properly. It was not as if they had not spoken or been friendly since their ... disagreement.  Yet Brun had been thinking about what she had said before - there was so much that she had said wrong, or not explained properly – it was surprisingly hard to explain the things that were general knowledge and understandings of her set. Did everyone else not understand at all? 

  


She hurried back to her quarters to wash away the smell of horses and change back into a shipsuit. She dressed carefully, trying to pick out an outfit likely to go down well, before she hurried along the halls to Brig's room. There was a good chance she would be there – she was unlikely to be on duty as they were docked. Brun knocked on the door, but there was no answer. After a few moments Brun shrugged and carried on to the bridge. Brig was there sitting at the comms board talking to Koutsoudas. 

  


Before Brun could go over to her, Petris said, “Good, you're back. The captain wants you down in Environmental for this shift – plenty for you to learn there.”

  


Brun rolled her eyes, but went off not entirely unwillingly – after all she was there to learn, even if environmental systems would be even duller than the rest. And Brig didn't look like she was in the mood for an important conversation.

  


***

  


It was late evening ship time before her shift finished. Brun returned to her quarters to attempt to get clean – even with the environmental suits she still felt dirty from the work. She quickly washed, too hungery to do more, then grabbed the first clean shipsuit to hand and went down to the crew mess to eat her dinner. There was hardly anyone else around at that point – it was far later than most would eat on this shift. However, Brigdis was there, picking up a snack and hot chocolate.

  


“Brig, I haven't eaten yet. Can a join you?”

  


She nodded with a smile. Brun quickly got her dinner, then followed Brig back to her quarters, very aware that she looked far from her best. Brun sat on the edge of her bunk, while Brigdis sat at her desk, seeming even further away that the distance allowed.

  


“Sorry for abandoning you to help in the stables,” Brun said, after her first few mouthfuls of food.

  


“It just seems like it really is all a game to you – you say you are here to be on the crew, but then don't behave like it.” Brigdis said, glancing up from her food for a moment.

  


“The ship is in dock – I didn't think there'd be anything to do.”

  


“There's plenty. Besides, crew stay aboard unless the captain says otherwise.”

  


“She gave me permission. Anyway, I'm back now.”

  


“Yes.”

  


“Look, I know we argued before - or maybe not exactly argued, but something, and I really want to make up properly.”

  


Brig glanced up at her, and then hastily lowered her eyes again.

  


“Look, Brigdis, I really like you – you're fun to be with and sensible like Raffa. I'm sorry for being an idiot. I know it matters to you – I do find you attractive, but I don't want to hurt you. I don't know that I'd want to be in a relationship that involved settling down like so many others are doing – getting married and settling down . I'm young and want to have adventures. That seems to preclude serious relationships, but you've really got me thinking.”

  


“Brun,” Brigdis said, almost too softly to be heard.

  


“I know I said REs were all coded hetero – but there are always rumours, gossip about people in our circles – there was gossip about Lady Cecilia and Heris. So, I really don't know.”

  


“You don't have to justify yourself to me.”

  


“I'm sorry – I want to. I want to make you understand my world a little – everything is so different. I understand if you don't want us to be lovers – but every relationship doesn't have to be intended to last. Have you had many?”

  


“Just the one really.”

  


“Brig – I'm sorry. I should have thought. 

  


“You've had many more.”

  


“Yes. It is expected, encouraged even. When you first met Amalie, did you worry about whether it would last?”

  


“Not at first. At first it was just so new and exciting – it was when I was nearly finished with school and she still had time to go that I started worrying.”

  


“I see. Look, I'd like to be your lover, even though I know it is unlikely to last; we're too different. But it's not just collecting the experience like a bauble on a chain – at least not any more than any other experience,if you see what I mean. But it's your choice.”

  


“I think I do, but I need to think about it,” Brig said slowly, looking at Brun – smiling, but still seeming quite distant.

  


Brun got to her feet, leaned over and hugged her lightly. “Think as long as you like – I intend to be around for a while – to learn and have adventures – there seem to be plenty of those around here.”

  


***

  


She had left things there, and with the sudden distractions of the Benignity’s invasion of Xavier neither of them said anything further on the subject before going their separate ways. Yet looking back Brun would be sad that they had not had the chance to. 

  


As Speaker she had no real time for a relationship, especially as she had refused regen. However, Brigdis remained a bright memory for Brun. One day, she was looking through the paperwork detailing changes to RSS picket locations, noticing the move of one back into the jump points approaching the Xavier station. The name brought back the memories of that time so vividly. Brun quickly signed off on the papers, then asked her secretary to see if she could find contact details for Brigdis, before turning back to her work.

  


When the secretary returned with the details, Brun has still not decided what to do or say. Brigdis was Nav First on a big liner – the career she had been aimed at. Brun looked at the schedule for the ship – it would be docked at Rockhouse Major for a while soon for the changeover of passengers and resupply. 

  


She flipped record, then hesitated.

  


“Hello Brigdis. This is Brun Thornedike (Meager). I noticed your ship will be at Rockhouse soon. Would you like to join me for dinner, when you have leave?” 

  


She added her contact details. Then closed the recording. She hesitated over it for a while, while getting on with her work, but in the end sent it. It would be good to see Brigdis again, even if nothing came of it beyond friendship, although she hoped it would. She smiled at her memories of the _Sweet Delight_ before turning back to the paperwork about the latest complaint from the Crescent Worlds.

  


  



End file.
